Isn’t it amazing sometimes how the Lord works out the timing of these things? Obviously neither my mom nor I knew that she wouldn’t be around through most of my years of mothering, and yet she felt prompted to write this and it will always serve as a reminder that my mom believed in me – that she is telling me, “YOU CAN DO IT.”

Thankful.

Those pictures don’t have too much to do with anything, but I just thought i’d throw them in there anyway! Probably should have some sunny pictures from being outside to go with my title, but oh well…

Anyway, our “winter weather” has been a JOKE here lately! Instead of the normal grey, rainy, cloudy stuff we have from November straight thru March (our rainest months), it has been sooo much blue skies and hardly any rain. Us locals are starting to get cocky I think and forget that our normal winter weather is totally different than this. The downside to these sunny days are the fact that when this happens, we often end up with an incredibly rainy early summer (until about July!) to make up for it… Ick. I would much rather have my rainy winter and a nice spring.

The plus side to these nice days has been some uncharacteristic (for this time of year, anyway) outdoors time with the kids. We’ve been down to our neighborhood park a few times in the last few days and with just light sweatshirts on! It’s so funny going down there now with both kids because all of a sudden Lauren is a full-on KID running in every direction so instead of one kid and one baby, I’m chasing them both in every direction. She has grown so quickly and I’m still amazed at how fast babyhood goes by.

In other “news”, we almost got a puppy the other day on impulse (seem in the ghetto cell phone pic above). We stopped into a locally owned pet store and were offered a chance to hold a puppy. I ask you, if you saw your little 16-month-old daughter giggling like crazy as a teeny tiny puppy licked her little face and fingers, wouldn’t you be tempted to impulse buy? David was sold, hook line and sinker. I on the other hand wasn’t really ready to commit to that, especially since I would probably be the primary caretaker. Maybe one day we will get a dog, but I think I’m busy enough with two kids at this point… and we settled on a betta fish instead.

Lastly, I would like to pay tribute to a beautiful, tenderhearted dog who passed away this past week. Petey was my brother’s family dog for over a decade. He was a fierce protector and very loving. You are missed, Petey! The picture above was taken with Liam & Petey at Thanksgiving this past year.

A week before Christmas, we had a Christmas gathering with my father-in-law’s side of the family. We usually gather up at a lodge a bit east of here along a river and it is a nice compromise so nobody’s house has to get dirtied Here are a few pics from that gathering.

Liam had just been handed this present by Santa Claus aka Uncle John Q dressed up as Santa. He was a little in shock. We’re not huge Santa people but it was fun that Liam had fun with the character there.

Liam & Lauren opening up their Santa gifts that we had brought for them – fun new Bible story books (one for boys and one for girls).

My more immediate Fenley fam (minus my father-in-law who was taking the pic). Lots of other fam was there too, though. Probably 30ish of us in all. It was a fun time! We also gathered with my in-laws on Christmas day but I don’t have any pictures of that yet from my father-in-law.

And moving on, here are some pictures from Christmas Eve at MY house! I was so blessed that ALL of my siblings and their families could come, plus Dad & Linda. Fun time! My sis came all the way from Alaska and one of my bros & his wife came from Massachusetts. It was quite a bicoastal affair

I have great sisters-in-love!! Here they are helping me prepare dinner. We had ham, a delicious green bean dish, scrumptious mashed potatoes, cranberry relish, a lovely green salad, rolls, and tons of desserts, and I’m probably forgetting something! It was amazing – even the young kiddies ate a lot!

My sis and two bros (and my niece). I was so happy to have them there!

During dinner. Or maybe it was after, because I see the littles have already vacated the kiddy table at the end Anyway, we were just chatting. Good times.

Cousins & friends! How cute are they?!

Last but not least, a cousin pic, or at least an attempt at one! Haha, let’s just say we tried. Anyway, it was a great time!

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Beyond that, we’ve been enjoying some vacation time of David’s and even made it over to the beach for an overnight last week. It was a great time and the kids had a blast swimming (in the pool, not the ocean – this IS Oregon after all!) and just getting out and going somewhere different.

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I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, but it does give one a chance to think about the year ahead, and for this year I have been thinking a lot about how I want to improve in my relationship with Jesus. This year, I am going to try to go to Him first with all my fears, worries, and anxiety. I will seek Him when I feel the tears of grief slide down my face. I will seek Him when everything in me wants to worry. I will seek Him. I will seek Him. I will seek Him. Jesus, I want to know you MORE in 2012!

And with that, I leave you with an awesome song that is my prayer to God for 2012. Blessings on you and yours in the name of Jesus! (Lyrics below)

To the Very End
by Will Reagan
Album: In the Night Season
Artist: Will Reagan, United Pursuit Band

You know me and I know You
You’re the God who calms all my storms
You’re the voice inside my head

You can have all my fears, God
You can have all my sins
You can have all my weakness
I know you’re with me to the very end

It’s just that, a year and a half going by just doesn’t “fix” that hole that you feel in your heart. Time does help, but I still feel that loss every day and wish I could call my Mom. It’s truly an irreplaceable loss.

The past two nights I have had dreams about my Mom, and even though dreams are dreams, they have really affected me emotionally. I have woken up with a sense of sadness and I realize yet again how grieved I am that I don’t get to ever spend time with her again in this life.

You do what you can, and I try to honor her in all the little Christmas traditions she loved and did. My tree will always be filled with a hodge podge of ornaments that have real meaning to me, especially because so many of them were giving to me by her. My kids (especially Liam) are getting so much joy out of the advent calendar hanging in our home – it’s the same handcrafted one that my siblings & I had while growing up and it’s so awesome reading a piece of the story of Jesus’ each day in my mom’s handwriting.

So while I’m sure it will be a lovely Christmas, I want to take a moment to say, “Mom, I miss you!” I don’t think that will ever change. I will never stop missing my Mom.

Every year my mom always made these cookies, so in her honor (and because they are positively SCRUMPTIOUS), I make them. This year I thought to take a few pictures even!

Anyway, here’s the recipe for anyone who’s interested. Keep in mind, it’s 3 separate items that you are making. First, you make the cookie bases, then the filling to scoop into them, then the drizzly goodness. ENJOY!

Chocolate Pistachio Thumbprint
Christmas Cookies

1) COOKIES

Mix the following ingredients well:
– 1/3 c. powdered sugar
– 1 c. butter, softened
– 1 tsp. vanilla
– 3/4 tsp. almond extract
– 3.5 oz package instant pistachio pudding
– 1 egg

Stir in & mix the following well:
- 2 cups flour
- 1/2 c. chocolate chips or miniatures

Shape dough into 1″ balls, roll in 3/4 finely chopped nuts (if desired). Place on cookie sheet & make thumbprint in center. Bake 10-14 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool.

2) FILLING

Mix & spoon tsp of filling into each cooled cookie center.
– 1.5 c. powdered sugar
– 2 Tbs. butter
– a drop or two of green food coloring
– 1 tsp. vanilla
– 1-3 Tbs. milk

3) GLAZE

Melt & drizzle 1/2 tsp over each cookie.
– 1/2 c. chocolate chips
– 2 Tbs. shortening

- Lauren being obsessed with cats! We were over at her aunt & uncle’s house the other day and she spent a good two hours chasing around their two cats. In fact, she even started saying the word “cat” for the first time! She also says “Dog” and is a big animal lover in general these days. (In the sequence below, she is searching for the cats around the tree, then under the tree, and finally petting little Bitsy.

- Looking in the rearview mirror of my car to see Liam literally stroking Lauren’s cheek when she was upset and saying, “It’s okay, sweetie girl. It’s okay. Brother’s here!”

- Lauren being a total foodie. She is CONSTANTLY using her “more” sign language and frantically signs for more as soon as she finishes a bite, haha. She’s also starting to say the word more also, although it sounds more like meh.

- Hearing Liam recite his “3 rules” from We Choose Virtues. I love hearing his little voice happily say, “Obey, Be Kind, and Be a HELPER!” He is so proud of himself and is doing a great job as we start learning about the different character virtues in the program. Check them out at http://www.wechoosevirtues.com! Here is one of the posters we bought from them:

- Finding Lauren in her little pink rocking chair reading a book! I love when she wanders back to her room and I peek in to find her cuddled up in her rocking chair “reading”. TOO CUTE!

- Liam is recently my little helper in the kitchen! Any time he sees me remotely NEAR any measuring cups or anything cooking-related, he pulls up a stool and asks, “Mom, can I help?” He is getting really good at helping measure things & pour them into batters & such.

So there’s just a few things that are tickling my fancy lately. It is such a joy to be a Mom and I am so thankful I get to spend my days with these kiddos!

Wow, I am so proud of my sister!! She just finished & self-published a book that she has been working on for several years. Here is the description she posted on Facebook today:

“It is finished!! A project I’ve been working on for several years is now in book form. It’s half memoir/lessons from childhood, and half a tribute to my mama. Feel no pressure to buy, but if you decide you’re interested, Lulu is offering free shipping ONLY through the 23rd. Use the code “RUSH” or “RUSH305″ at checkout. Thanks friends!!”

I read a rough draft of this book a year ago and even then it was quite good. Very sentimental and reminiscent of a simpler childhood! If you are interested in buying it, use the code in the paragraph above to get free shipping.

You can buy it here:

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/simplicitys-gift-a-mothers-legacy/18666392

Good job, Mar! We are proud of you

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My heart has been heavy the last few days. My dear high-school-and-beyond friend Erin gave birth to a baby less than two weeks ago and her little daughter is simply too adorable for words. Unfortunately, late Tuesday night I received a text telling me that Erin’s baby T was in emergency heart surgery! Turns out she has a congenital heart defect that has left her arteries switched around, so she will require another heart surgery in the next few days to correct this problem – this time it will be open heart surgery. She will be in the hospital for several weeks after this as well.

I feel so sad that Erin & her husband are having to deal with this stress and when they should be getting to enjoy and snuggle their first baby at home and just doing the normal first-time-parent stuff. Please join me in prayer for a successful surgery for baby T and for strength and courage for her parents and family members as they go through this process and recovery. We are claiming life & HEALTH for baby T in Jesus’ name!

“O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” Psalm 30:2

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On a totally unrelated note, here’s a few recent instagram pics taken from David’s phone

Life at home with the kids has been going well. It cracks me up watching Liam & Lauren interact, especially as Lauren has gotten more independent and active. She gives her brother a run for his money and is helping him to have lots of opportunities to practice SHARING!

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I’m starting some professional counseling tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it! It’s hard to really put into words, but I feel like I need to decompress A LOT from the events of the past few years and I am hopeful that getting my feelings & memories out of my brain and into spoken word will be therapeutic.

I never would have believed it without experiencing it myself, but this past year especially I have seen the impact that stress has on ones physical health. Grief and stress do a number on the body and I really think that talking about it all is a step in the right direction.

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Lastly, I am seriously in shock about how quickly time is flying and here we are SMACK DAB in the middle of the holiday season! Looking forward to some great Thanksgiving get-togethers with family and if I could, I would have my Christmas tree up already This year is going to be a lot of fun because Liam is already really into the Christmas spirit for the first time.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please remember to keep Baby T in your prayers this week as she undergoes her open heart surgery. Thank you!

There were tons of games for the kids, and it doesn’t even need to be said that there was also a lot of candy Lauren & Liam both won prizes in the costume contest and overall just had a great little time!

Quick picture with Dad before heading out to the party (Dad had JUST walked in the door from work)

Sister eating a bite of pizza beforehand

Lauren as Cinderella at the party

Anyway, it was a great time! It is so much fun getting to do these kinds of things with your own children.

Liam just showed me yet another reason why I am so proud to be his Mama. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Liam, look Mama has an owie!
Liam: (in super caring voice) Oh no! Are you ok? You got an owie!
Me: Yeah, I’m ok. Would you pray for me?
Liam: Dear Jesus, please heal mama’s body. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Me: You are so kind, Liam. Thank you for praying!
Liam: You want me to kiss it?
Me: Oh that would be very nice!
Liam: *kisses my owie very gently* Yeah. Poor mama.

I feel so blessed to have such an empathetic & caring son. I love my Liam!